Mentoring Blog

E-mail Etiquette

An effective skill in any undertaking, well-honed e-mail etiquette is vitally important to the engineer. By the nature of our work, we communicate with many people every day. It’s a necessity for proceeding forward on a design, securing approval for a phase of work from a boss or client, winning the hearts and minds of a community on a new development, or asking for advice. The manner and format in which we convey, or request, information has a direct correlation to the manner, and format, in which we receive responses.

One way to gain experience on the best e-mail etiquette is to make mistakes. This will undoubtedly happen in your career. However, I offer the following tips to limit the number of those mistakes you’ll make:

Be clear. Nothing gets an idea across better than being very clear on why the e-mail was sent. Right up front, state what’s needed. For many people using e-mail readers, they may have one or two lines revealed, so by stating your “bottom line up front” at the start, they’ll see your request immediately.

The 2-4-2 rule. A very simple formula to keep e-mails concise and to the point is to apply the “2-4-2” rule: 2 sentences in the first paragraph, 4 in the second, 2 in the closing paragraph. I first learned this from a general I worked for a number of years ago and have used it ever since. It’s effective in eliminating verbosity and conveying the meat of an issue. By the way...it works great for letters as well.

Don’t write anything you wouldn’t say openly. E-mail is a great way to communicate to many people. It’s also a great way to have your message transmitted to others whom you may never have intended to communicate with. Unless you’re certain that the people with whom you’re communicating will not pass along sensitive information, do not put it in an e-mail. Use the phone.

Validate the audience. We’ve all been copied on messages with which we have no involvement. Someone along the way decided you might care, so they added you to the “CC:” line. Know that you don’t like it when it happens to you, don’t do it to others. Always skim the “To:” and “CC:” lines to ensure those on the e-mail need to be.

Fear the send button. Franklin Roosevelt told the world that “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” I agree, but only with the addition of fearing the send button. Before you hit send, ensure you’ve proofread your e-mail for grammar and spelling; checked the “To:” and “CC:” lines to ensure the right audience is included; added attachments (if any); and verified the format and content conveys thoughts coherently. Once you hit send, your message has been conveyed. Ensure always that the message you want sent is sent.

Signature blocks. Keep these concise and professional. It’s my opinion, but quotes, sports logos, or any nonprofessional/relevant imagery is a distraction. As well as inappropriate in business e-mail.

You’ll still make mistakes in e-mail. However, by following these hints you can limit the number of times you frantically seek the recall option in your e-mail program.

Creating Realistic Expectations

Entering into a mentoring relationship, like embarking on a new goal or learning a new skill, requires realistic expectations. Too often the relationship starts without any expectations being established, leading to frustration on both the part of the mentor and the mentee. When this happens, the relationship can fall apart simply because there was no established framework within which to measure outcomes. All of this can be avoided if time is invested up front in establishing realistic expectations about the relationship.
 
The process of establishing expectations is very close to establishing goals, and in fact, often takes place at the same time without us realizing it. Expectations are the bars we set, along with the goal, that dictate what we assume or anticipate about a relationship or a goal we’re working towards. For example, we expect that a challenging goal, like earning our PE, will take hours of dedicated study. We also may expect that a mentoring relationship with a firm principal will give us inside wisdom on how to shape our career to achieve their same level of success.

In creating realistic expectations for the mentoring relationship:
 
Set your expectations high and keep them there. If you expect much, you’ll often receive much. If you enter into a mentoring relationship expecting nothing to come of it, that’s exactly what you’ll get.
 
Identify the purpose of the mentoring relationship. Is the relationship for career advancement? Technical skills or research assistance? Life in general? Clarify the relationship type up front so both parties know what’s expected of them in content.
Specify the mechanics of the relationship. These are the “administrative” aspects of the relationship - how often you’ll communicate, when, what method, and for how long. Specifying these expectations allow you and the mentor to know workload expectations.

Understand that you’ll have to do your own push-ups. The mentoring relationship is about imparting wisdom, not about relieving you of doing your own work. While you may learn much from the relationship that can help you in your career and life, the knowledge won’t be of any use unless you do something with it.

Establishing realistic expectations on the front end of a mentoring relationship is the best way to maximize the gains for both parties. As stated by the French writer A. Godin, “The quality of our expectations determines the quality of our actions.” Likewise, the quality of our expectations about a mentoring relationship will determine the quality of the relationship.